Worried

 

My father went to town today with a few of his friends and some other blacks for a protest, while my mother stays at home with me. I wanted to go with him, but my mom said it was too dangerous because you never know what the police will do. She is right though, because I have seen what can happen if we cross the police. My friend’s, brother participated in a protest and was beaten just for voicing his view on the situation. I’m really worried about my dad. The police don’t have any mercy for us, so he really needs to be careful. I don’t know what I would do without him. I pray to God that this is a peaceful protest today, and that there will be no police dogs, or bloodshed…

 

Police bring out the dogs during segregation protests

Another friend?

Today was a good day. For the first time since I have been in this city, I have actually met someone of the opposite race that I can probably call a friend. His name is Chris, and he defended me today, when some other white kids started to call me a nigger. He even introduced me to his girlfriend who seems pretty nice. They are both kind of weird though. I guess you can call them hippies. They told me they were not raised on the ignorance of popular culture and the media. That everyone does deserve to be treated equal and that not everyone is like what most of the other white kids here are like. I never thought I would enjoy the company of a honkey, but they really are good people. Maybe what Dr. King said about his dream had some truth to it after all. Maybe things are beginning to change…

Death of a hero

It’s late. I don’t have what time it is, but I know it’s late. My parents have just woken me up from a good dream, only to put me into a nightmare. It was April 4th, 1968. The day that I will never forget. Martin Luther King Jr. was shot and killed earlier this evening, while on his motel balcony in Memphis, TN. This is surreal to me. “Am I dreaming right now?” There are so many things racing through my mind, so many things that I want to do, so many fucking emotions! This is real, but I don’t want to believe it. Assassinated! The one man, who meant more to African Americans anything. The man who was leading us in the civil rights movement! How could this happen? “Who could do such a thing?!” I wonder if they caught him the person who did this. What do we do, what happens next…?

Raleigh

My father was offered a slightly better pay for a job in Raleigh, NC when I was younger, which is the main reason why we moved here. Even though it is farther North than South Caroline and Alabama, it is still just as racist. They have recently passed the final version of the civil rights bill, which strengthens federal power for equal employment and prevents discrimination in all public places. Well, at least it tries to do all of those things. There have been a large number of sit-ins lately at diners, libraries, and even in the schools. I have even participated in a few. It doesn’t make my “integration” into school any easier thats for sure. “Integration”, jeez it sounds like we are a poison, that society cannot get rid of, so the government has to integrate us slowly into society so we don’t destroy man kind! I hear it’s not a racist up north, so hopefully when I get out of school, I can head of there and find some better work, with less discrimination…

Revenge

If there is one thing I have learned from seeing white people everyday, listening to their conversations and seeing what they do for fun, it’s that they love their cars. The kid who jumped me happens to have a jaguar that he flaunts all day long. He thinks he’s so cool driving in that thing, and the girls actually like that sort of shit. Well we aren’t takin’ it anymore. We tried to suck it up, hoping things were going to get better, but they haven’t yet. We found out where Biff lives, and he never keeps his car in the garage for some stupid reason. Probably because he thinks he’s invincible. Let’s just say his car won’t be looking like this for too much longer…

 

MLK

It’s been years since Martin Luther King Jr. made his speech, which we consider one of the most meaningful speeches of all time, and I tell you, I really did not think it would take as long as it is to be accepted into society as equals. Did his speech not mean anything to white people? How long do we have to go on like this. I don’t think this is what he meant by his dream. Sure, integration is a step in the right direction I guess, but things seem to be worse and more violent than they ever were. My father says things usually get worse before they get better. I hope things don’t get worse than this. It’ll be the day if america ever accepts African Americans as equal. Just think, what if we had a black president?! Haha, who am I kidding, IF that ever were to happen, god knows I won’t be alive to see it.

Friends

It wasn’t hard to make new friends in this new school. Most of us just try to stick together. You need friends in times like these because if your alone, who knows what you can do. I heard about a kid who killed himself, shotgun right to the face, because he couldn’t handle the constant taunting, and beatings. There is so much racism here in Raleigh, it is unbelievable. I don’t know where I’d be right now if I didn’t meet these new people. We have to have each others back because these are violent times. The whites are so worked up about allowing us to get an equal education that they are doing everything in their power to try and either get us to leave, or to have the schools shut down. If they see one of us alone they immediately start shit, and with your friends not around, your in for trouble. I’ll tell you what, God, family, friends and music are the four most important things in my life.

In my shoes

I wish they could walk in my shoes for a day…

First time for everything

I didn’t even know what hit me! One minute I was looking into the eyes of an angel ,and the next, I’m staring at my own blood on the floor. What is going on!?  I find myself unable to breath, and every time I try and gasp for air, I feel like it will never come. Again and again, my face keeps being pounded by fists. More than two. They won’t even let me get off of the ground. These fucking crackers are beating the shit out of me and I am powerless to stop it. “No nigger is going to speak to my girl, EVER!!”, I barely make out over the laughter of about four people. I have never been jumped before, especially because of my skin color. Finally some faculty members come to my rescue and I never thought I’d be so relieved to see them. Turns out I was blamed for starting the fight, and sent to the clinic, then to detention. Ain’t that some bullshit!

The Twist

Another Friday night school dance. I can honestly say that I am not very excited to be here. Ever since integration, the whites still cannot stand to be around us. When they are not calling us niggers and trying to pick fights, they completely avoid us. A lot of them don’t even show up to dances anymore. I think it’s because before they integrated schools, they use to play the same old terrible white people music that has no rhythm at all. How can they dance to that shit! I guess they don’t like our type of music. How can they not like this song! It’s amazing. In fact it’s revolutionary and I bet it will be played for years! One thing I with though; I wish I could do the twist with Kristin tonight. That probably wouldn’t go to well after the last time those crackers saw me talking to her…