The Beginning

I don’t know what is going on today! Why is my mother crying? My dad said it’s because people can be cruel. He said that someone named Brown won a case, and that the white people were mad about it. A case of what? On our way home from the store, right before my mother started crying, we drove by a bunch of white people holding up signs and yelling about something called a nigger. When I asked  her what a nigger was, she said its a bad name the honkies came up with. Were they talking about us? Why would they want to call us bad names. They don’t even know us. I’m glad I don’t have to be around those kind of people, especially in school.

Girls…

Today is a weird day. I’ve been at this new school for a few weeks and I can honestly say I hate it here. The whites pretty much keep away from us, so we do the same. It’s known that if one of us talks to a white girl, we will be harassed, and even potentially jumped. I’ve never really fallen for a white girl before, probably because all I know are black girls. Thicker than your average white girl, and much louder, they are completely different. I guess thats what intrigues me about this one girl named kristin. Even that name is unusual to me. She’s got a nice complexion, and long blond hair, with a little bit of black died in it. She’s not thick, but has a nice pair of legs and the type of attitude I like. The type of  white girl I’d go for. Me and my boys call her snowflake because basically, she’s white and beautiful. Fuck it, I’m going to talk to her and I don’t care what happens. I want to see what she is all about…

First day.

Today is my first day at the newly integrated school. It is very weird because most of my friends were not able to come to this school  because of where they live. We are pretty much all spit up form each other and I don’t know if I can take it. Everyone looks at you like your a piece of shit and it’s obvious that nobody wants us here. Even the teachers look at you like your nothing. What are we suppose to do in a situation where all you have is yourself and your family, and your family isn’t even here. There weren’t any seats available in the classroom so I have to sit on the floor the entire day. Even worse, I have to sit in the FRONT with everyone looking down on me, literally. How ironic is that shit. I tell you what, I’d give anything to be in the back.

“Basketball Jones”

Playing basketball today was a good time. My boys and I love to go out to the courts at night and get a good game in. It helps to let out all the frustrations of the day. The team at school is all white, so they definitely don’t want us “niggers” around. It’s bullshit that we can’t be on the team. Shit, we’d smoke those fuckin crackers any day of the week. We can’t even use the gym, so we have to walk to the outdoor courts at the park every time we want to play. There aren’t any lights so we can only play for a few ours, until we can’t see anymore. Sometimes it’s freezing out too, and we still can’t use the school gym. Oh well, as long as I can play bball somewhere with my boys, I’ll survive. 

Waiting…

So it’s been a few months now and I still have to travel 20 miles away in order to get a decent education. It just isn’t fair. My mother and father cannot keep being late for work because of me. You would think that after this long, schools would obey the law and integrate, rather than closing down! I do not understand why schools don’t have to integrate blacks even though the Brown vs Board of education case was passed months ago! This is absolute bullshit, and if my parents get fired, what will we do?! I can’t drive yet, and my school is way too far to walk. I guess we will have to keep waiting for this racist hellhole that we call a town to choose to obey the law, and let me attend school…

Alone…

They think just because they are white, they are better than me. Walking around in their cliques thinking they are tough and superior. Who the fuck do they think they are!? To think that I was excited about this blows my mind! Now, I don’t even know why we want integration in the first place. I feel like more of an outcast than I ever have, having to walk around with my head down whenever I’m not with someone of my own color. Just because we are now allowed to go to school together, doesn’t mean everything is just peachy! At least at my old school, I had a good amount of friends; but here, I feel alone all day.